The "BASEketballs" co-stars are headlining NBC's Winter Olympics coverage. But how do they fare in a head-to-head Smug Off? Well, get ready sports fans, for a couple steaming loads of smug:
Dyed:
Bob Costas - His hair. Color: Jet black
Al Michaels - His skin. Color: Orange leather
Famous Call:
Bob Costas - "Jordan. Open. Chicago with the lead!" Game 6, 1998 NBA Finals. Michael Jordan's 6th NBA Title, and the exact last moment Chicago sports were relevant for a positive reason. You don't count, other Adrian Peterson.
Al Michaels - "Do you believe in miracles? Yes!" Of course. As we all know this call came at the end of the 1996 U.S Olympic Women's Basketball team's 108-93 Quarterfinal's victory versus Japan.
Rants Against:
Bob Costas - Steroids, Facts and Truth (i.e. "Stats are for nerds, nerd boy."), NFL's Overtime
Policy, Modern athletes (minorities), The lack of Mickey Mantleness in today's games.
Al Michaels - Sports, Enjoyment of Sports, Non-Brett Favres
Sports Boner Source:
Bob Costas - Mickey Mantle. #7. The Mick. Mr. Purist can't seem to get enough of this alcoholic, wife cheatin', amphetamine poppin'e, country golden boy.
Al Michaels - Nothing. Flacid. Totally flacid. Orange, leathery, and flacid. Has not enjoyed a non-Brett Favre sporting event in 20 years. A last minute TD to win the Super Bowl? "Let's keep our voices down, cretins, Al Michaels is breaking out his signature classy restraint."
Greatest Pop Culture Appearance:
Bob Costas - "News Radio." Season 3. Episode 5. "Awards Show." No jokes. It's pretty fucking awesome. Kudos, Mr. Costas.
Al Michaels - Not being one of the broadcasters in "The Naked Gun : From the Files of Police Squad." Seriously, Dick Vitale and Tim McCarver weaseled their way in to one of the funniest movies of all time, and you couldn't? That does not bode well.
"BASEketballs" Appearance Leads You to Believe:
Bob Costas - Has nipples he'd like you to feel. Arrogant, self-righteous nipples.
Al Michaels - Was molested as a boy by his father. But that's nothing to get excited about! Let's keep the noise to a minimum people!
Thinks He Should Be Commissioner Of:
Bob Costas - Baseball. An aging white man holding on to decades of tradition? That doesn't exist in the MLB I know, buddy.
Al Michaels - The Republic of JeansSportsCoatDressShirtUnbuttonedVille. He's got my vote.
How I Degrade Their Multiple Emmy Wins:
Bob Costas - So? Joe Morgan has like four.
Al Michaels - So? Kiefer Sutherland has one.
Oh, look at you, you got smug all over you...ahem...anways...and the Smug Off champion is? You decide! (cop out) Let's hear your reasons, America.
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